Embodied Self-Care for Doulas: Nourishing the Heart of Your Practice

Credit: Bridie Solman, Expansive course 2023/24

In the world of doula work, the concept of self-care isn’t just a buzzword - it’s an essential, ongoing practice that enables us to offer the best of ourselves to our clients. As someone who transitioned from a career as an Occupational Therapist (OT) to a doula, I’ve witnessed firsthand the challenges of maintaining self-care while navigating a busy, service-oriented profession.

In Occupational Therapy, we categorise people’s daily activities into self-care, productivity, and leisure. It’s a familiar framework, but my connection to self-care runs deeper - it’s personal, transformative, and heart-led. During my years in the NHS, I struggled to nurture my own well-being, despite the strong desire to serve others. This journey led me to embrace a new path as a doula, one where I can embody space - holding, nurturing, and showing up fully for others, in alignment with my true self. I see this shift as an act of grace toward myself - one that creates room for me to contribute meaningfully while caring for my own needs.

What Is Self-Care, Really?

There’s a common misconception that self-care is limited to indulgent activities like spa days or luxurious getaways, a concept often glamorised on social media. But the truth is far more expansive. Self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself; it’s about tending to your inner world and your deeper needs.

A definition of self-care that resonates with me is from Isidora (2019), who describes it as “giving the most exquisite, impeccable love and care to yourself” and “bringing yourself from your mind into your body to nurture yourself tenderly.” This idea of embodied self-care is central to my understanding of it as a practice that moves beyond the superficial, inviting us to connect with our bodies, emotions, and deeper truths.

As doulas, we know that showing up for others requires us to be resourced and in tune with our own well-being. It’s not enough to mentally acknowledge that we need self-care; we must also live it. The work we do as doulas can be mentally, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually demanding. As Rogers (2019) notes, we are our own best assets, and if we neglect our own needs, it will inevitably affect the quality of care we provide.

The Importance of Embodied Self-Care for Doulas

Within doula training, we often emphasise the importance of self-care. We are reminded that we can’t pour from an empty cup. If we try to give from a place of depletion, it diminishes the depth and quality of our presence with clients. However, many of us are guilty of “fronting it out,” pretending we are okay when we’re actually running on empty. Rogers (2019) speaks to this, warning that clients will feel when we are not fully present, even if they can’t quite articulate it.

In failing to care for ourselves, we aren’t just bypassing self-care, we’re engaging in self-neglect. Hardy (2017) makes a powerful observation that not practicing self-care is a form of neglect, even though many of us wouldn’t comfortably use such a term. It’s a sobering reminder that we need to honor our well-being if we are to be of service to others.

Overcoming the Barriers to Self-Care

There are many reasons why making self-care a priority can feel challenging. Misconceptions about what self-care looks like, societal pressures, and even the feeling that it’s selfish or indulgent can all stand in the way. For some, the idea of adding self-care to an already packed to-do list feels overwhelming.

But self-care doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. Hardy (2017) and Rogers (2019) both emphasise that self-care is unique to each individual. What nourishes one person might deplete another, so it’s important to explore what truly rejuvenates us on a personal level. This requires a deep, ongoing relationship with ourselves and our values.

Connecting Self-Care with Core Values

One of the most meaningful steps in my self-care journey has been identifying my core values. By aligning my self-care practices with these values, I ensure that my actions are grounded in what truly matters to me. I reached out to Sophie, a transformational coach and former owner of Nurturing Birth, to explore my core values more deeply. Through this work, I discovered that self-care, for me, is about living in alignment with these guiding principles, checking in with myself regularly, and adjusting as needed.

As doulas, our work is built on giving care, compassion, and nurturing. But we must remember that we, too, are worthy of the same love and attention we give to others. By embracing embodied self-care, we can continue to serve with vitality, presence, and a deep sense of fulfillment.

Self-care for doulas is not a luxury -

It’s a necessity. In a profession where we are often giving so much of ourselves, it is crucial to stay connected to our own well-being. Embodied self-care allows us to live this practice in a way that supports us fully - mind, body, and spirit, so that we can show up with authenticity and strength for the families we serve.

Let’s commit to honoring ourselves, just as we honor the birthing people and families who trust us to walk beside them during such a transformative time. After all, when we care for ourselves, we’re able to give the very best of who we are to others.

References

Hardy, J. 2017. The Self Care Project. London: Orion Spring.

Isidora, C. 2019. Sacred Self Care – everyday rituals for a more joyful and meaningful life. London: Aster.

Rogers, J. 2019. Self Care and the Doula.