Understanding the unique emotions of IVF pregnancy

The journey to parenthood through IVF is filled with hope, resilience, and a wide range of emotions. IVF pregnancies often carry the weight of past challenges, the joy of possibility, and the uncertainty of the process.

During this unique experience, doulas offer vital emotional and practical support. They provide a safe, understanding space for parents to navigate the highs and lows, offering reassurance and care tailored to the IVF journey.

In this guest blog, Rosie Buckley, shares her thoughts on the subject, offering an intimate perspective on the emotional landscape of this journey.

IVF can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Hope, excitement and relief can be some of the more positive ones. More negative feelings can also come along with IVF like fear, anxiety and frustration. Navigating these emotions can be uncomfortable to sit with, and even more complicated trying to explain them to someone else. Conversations about your journey can be overwhelming, and some days you might not want to talk about it at all.

What Is IVF and Who Is It For?

IVF is one of many fertility treatments to help people conceive. IVF treatment involves fertilising an oocyte (Egg) in a lab. It’s then put back into the womb to grow. There are many reasons why people get IVF treatment. Some examples of people who may use IVF include; couples facing fertility problems, same-sex couples and single women using a donor’s sperm.

What Emotions Can IVF Bring About?

Many people experience a cycle of both hope and apprehension throughout their journey which can make emotions feel like a rollercoaster at times. Hearing good news can bring feelings of joy and happiness. After struggling to conceive naturally for a long time, IVF can bring hope.

Anxiety is an emotion which many people feel when getting IVF treatment. There can be a lot of uncertainty surrounding success, which can create feelings of worry. To help navigate this, practice mindfulness and do things which make you happy like your favourite hobby. Anxiety can also be caused not just by uncertainty, but by other factors like worrying about medical procedures too. To ease anxiety, talk to your doctor or fertility specialist to get more information and reassurance about your treatment.

How to Talk About Your Journey and the Emotions That Come Along With It

When explaining to people that you’re getting In vitro fertilisation, they may ask questions or want to know more. You can tell them as little or as much as you want to. This is your journey!

Start By Setting Boundaries

There may be certain topics or things you’re not willing to discuss. You don’t have to answer every question thrown your way. Decide what you want to keep private and see if your partner has any boundaries too. For example, because IVF comes with many emotions, you may decide you only want to talk about it for a certain amount of time per day. Some couples decide to only talk about big milestones with others. If you don’t want to discuss your journey with someone or don’t want to answer a question they have, that’s okay! Simply saying ‘I’d rather not talk about that today” or “I don’t want to give details about that right now” can quickly turn down a conversation.

Setting boundaries can also include deciding what you share and with who. Some people share a lot of their journey on social media, telling their story in a way that feels personal and empowering to them. Others decide to discuss only with close family and friends. You may not tell everyone about your journey in the same way. For example, with older relatives, you may decide to be more vague. Discussing intimate procedures in detail with grandparents might be a big no for some people. With close friends that you’re open with, you may talk in more detail. It’s completely up to you!

Handling Reactions and Educating People

Hopefully, most people in your life will be supportive of your journey. Let friends and family know how they can give you their support. Having a network of help around you can be useful, especially in times of anxiety. Unfortunately, you may find some people’s responses sound more discomforting. Their words may simply come from a place of being uneducated. Explain in more detail what IVF is and provide them with information and statistics if you think it would help. If you can’t change their opinion, you don’t have to keep trying.

It can be useful to educate people close to you about IVF as well. You don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want to, but explaining what it is means they can better understand how to support you. Knowing more about the emotions you’re experiencing means they’ll have a better idea of how to help. If you’re not completely sure how to explain, you could give them online resources to look at.

IVF or In vitro fertilisation comes with so many emotions, and you’re doing amazing! Don’t forget that this is your journey, and you’re completely within your rights to discuss what you want to.