The Joys (and realities) of Being a Self-Employed Doula

When I first became a doula, I said yes to everything. Every enquiry, every birth, every opportunity that came my way. I grabbed it with both hands. At the time, my youngest, Joe was still a baby, and I was determined to make it work. I had a deep passion for supporting families, and I was incredibly motivated, but if I’m honest... I didn’t have much of a plan. Actually, I don’t remember having any sort of plan, I just knew I wanted to become a doula.

Looking back, I can see how much I’ve grown. I’ve come a long way from saying “yes” out of fear or need. These days, I say “yes” with intention and that shift has been a game-changer..

Building a Career to Fit My Life

One of the greatest joys of being a self-employed doula is that I’ve been able to build a career that wraps around my life and not the other way around.

Over the years, my circumstances have changed more than once. When I first started, I was juggling birth work with two small children at home. Later, when they were both in full-time education, I had more space (and I mean that emotionally as well as practically) I was then able to take on more birth clients and I also began doing some postnatal support. Postnatal support was never part of my original plan but I found I actually really loved it and it’s SO much easier to schedule than birth support.

Then came a much harder season in my life: I was supporting my husband and my father-in-law through the deeply painful period surrounding my mother-in-law’s illness and death. During that time, I didn’t have the same capacity to be “on call,” to pour from a full cup, or to stretch myself too thin. And that was okay. I was needed elsewhere and I cut down on my work to give me space for that.

One of the most powerful things I’ve learned is that being self-employed doesn’t mean being constantly available. It means being in control. Some seasons, I’ve been at full capacity. I’ve taken on multiple birth clients at once and relishing the busy-ness. At times I’ve been juggling three post-natal families at the same time. Working with one family in the morning and then heading straight to another family after lunch (often grabbing a sarnie in the car on the way) Other times, I’ve needed to step back - and because I’d built my business on a solid foundation, I could do that without it all falling apart.

Working on My Money Mindset (and Why It Mattered)

For far too long, I undercharged for my work. I know I’m not alone in that and it’s definitely become an important theme for us at NB. So many of us come into doula work from a place of service, and that can make it hard to price ourselves realistically. You’ll hear about this a lot on our courses – I want to really help people be comfortable about charging. It’s become a bit of a mission of mine.

When you undercharge, you’re far more likely to say yes to the wrong things, from the wrong energy. I know I did.

Once I started working on my money mindset and began charging appropriately for the value of what I offered, I noticed a huge shift. Suddenly, I wasn’t saying yes out of fear. I was saying yes because I wanted to. I could afford to say no to clients or timings that didn’t suit me, without that horrible knot in my stomach about how I’d make ends meet.

That freedom - to say yes, no, or not right now - is something I want every doula to have.

It’s Not Always a Bed of Roses…

Let me be clear: I’m not delusional! Self-employment certainly isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. There’s no paid sick leave and no guaranteed income. There’s no holiday pay or person to cover if your kids are poorly or your car breaks down (unless you’ve got a lovely doula partnership in place, which does happen for some doulas). There have been moments when work didn’t come as quickly as I’d hoped, or when I had to dig deep to trust that another client would arrive.

But in exchange for that uncertainty? I’ve had flexibility beyond anything I could have imagined.

I’ve taken the day off for my children’s birthdays without having to ask permission. I’ve booked long weekends when I’ve needed rest. I’ve chosen not to work in August and instead enjoyed precious summer days with my family. For a few years, I alternated whether or not I took Christmas birth bookings - because I could.

That kind of freedom is hard to quantify, but it’s incredibly powerful. The pros have certainly outweighed the cons in my doula career.

Staying Connected to Birth Work

Since taking over Nurturing Birth a few years ago, my focus has naturally shifted from attending births regularly to supporting and training other doulas and I love that part of my work so much.

That said, I do still get the occasional doula enquiry come through. I don’t advertise my services anymore and I no longer have my doula website but I’ve built a strong reputation over the years, and word of mouth is a powerful thing (that’s a whole other blog post in itself!).

What I really appreciate now is the ability to look at my calendar and choose whether I want to take a birth on. Mostly the answer is no as I am often facilitating doula courses which won’t work with being on-call and that’s totally fine. But occasionally, when the planets align and the dates work, I say yes. Because I still love being at births. Because it's nourishing for me. And because I believe it’s important, as a facilitator, to keep my hand in the work and stay grounded in the reality of what our doulas are currently navigating.

That freedom to choose, without any pressure, is one of the real gifts of being self-employed and building a sustainable business over time.

A Career With Heart and Freedom

Becoming a doula in 2009 honestly changed my life and buying Nurturing Birth in 2023 changed it again. Not just in terms of the work I do, but in the way I live. I’ve been able to earn a living doing something meaningful and something I love, while still putting my family, my health, and my time first.

I’ve been through high-capacity seasons, slow ones and everything in between. I’ve raised my prices, restructured my offerings, and redefined success more than once. And through it all, I’ve been able to create a career that feels good to me in every phase of life I’ve found myself in.

I’ve made mistakes, more than a few!!! I’ve also learnt from the mistakes and from the other amazing and inspiring doulas I’ve surrounded myself with.

If you’re thinking about becoming a doula or stepping into self-employment for the first time, I hope this post brings you comfort and courage. It’s not always easy but it can be so worth it.

And if you do decide to take that step, just know: you don’t have to do it alone.